9/19/07:
"God Working Overtime" - by Justin Krueger
As I began to prepare for this reflection this morning, I wanted to talk about something that reflected what I have learned about spirituality during my college career here at St. Norbert. I looked towards scripture, towards my experiences on campus since my first year, towards the relationship that I have here. After pondering this for some time though, I was still at a loss as to what to say. I began to pray and just ask God (now that we were both on over time) to be with me as I prepared this, and that’s when I decided to base this reflection around Advent and Holy Week. At this point, those who are more familiar with the Liturgical Calendar could be asking how Advent and holy week are connected since typically Holy Week comes during the last week of Lent. I ask you to think out of context for a moment as I share with you holy week not in terms of the Paschal Mystery, but in terms of a three day period in December that has shaped my life and has given me a perspective on vocation that deeply influences my thought today.
December 7th, 1991. My mother was working, but my dad, who worked shift work at the time, was on a day of vacation. It was me and my two younger brothers at home, myself 4 years old at the time, and a brother of 2 years, and the other 4 months. The events of the day were not that spectacular, except for later that afternoon when my dad went to check on my youngest brother who was taking a nap at the time. He noticed that my brother was not breathing. I remember only vaguely a few incidents of the day or other parts the incident that I had picked up since. My mother rushed home as well as my grandparents driving over who were only a few blocks away. My dad frantically tried to instinctively dial 911, but after several unsuccessful attempts, he remembered that our township at the time didn’t have the 911 system set up, and therefore his attempts were in vain. Finally, the first responders were at our house and tried all they could do to help out my brother, but it was too late. My brother had died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I remember my dad relating us to a 1960’s tv show, my three sons, only we were two now.
Three years later, my aunt, who had kids about the same ages as my brother, my younger sister, and myself, was battling cancer. This event is not as vivid in my memory, but nonetheless, has played a huge part of my life in my family. She lost that battle Dec. 8, 1994. Another aunt was diagnosed with bone-marrow cancer the following year. This time, however, the situation appeared not to be as devastating. My father had the right match and would be able to donate the bone-marrow that would be needed to save the life of his sister. I remember him leaving for California, where she lived, several times in order to be a part of that surgery. Things appeared to be good, until Dec. 9, 1996 when she passed away, not due to the cancer, but because her immune system had failed to fight off a common virus after the devastation caused by the cancer.
These 3 events, although tragic, are all a part of who I am. Although they are sad, and very difficult to talk about, they have shown me the necessity to be supportive towards others, no matter the circumstances. You truly realize the blessings in life, when faced with this tragedy. I want to go forward though, to the summer after my junior year of high school. My grandfather was diagnosed with colon cancer earlier that year, and although he was said to not be able to live past 1979 due to heart disease, he was still alive. After going through treatment, he became sick, and thought “he new better, than the doctors, so he chose to quit chemotherapy. He continued with radiation, and after the pain became too much he needed surgery, but due to God’s grace, he is alive today.
I bring this up, however, because during that summer, the last I would have before college preparation, my grandmother needed someone to look after her. She needed someone to be with, to drive her to the hospital to be with my grandfather. She needed someone to make sure she was alright. And so I offered to be that person. That summer, I basically moved into their house, and through conversation and afternoons of canasta or cribbage, became very close with my grandmother. She often thought it was burdensome, but that summer is one filled with memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
As I said at the beginning, this Holy week really made me see life in terms of vocation. Not what do we want to do with your entire life, but the day to day callings that we are all faced with. When someone is in need, do we look to others to be solution, or are we ready to volunteer our time and treasures in order to help that other person? My family was there along with parishioners to offer support to my parents during this time of need. That was their vocation at the time. “Holy Week” gave me a perspective that continues to help me be a part of my life. The constant “God-cidents” that have been consistently given throughout the tragedy, especially through the support of family and friends, both then and now, really gives witness to the existence and revelation that God works everyday through ordinary people like you or myself. I don’t believe in God causing suffering in order to show us something or to be a cause of another part of his plan. I do however, believe that in the face of suffering, as Christians we can find solidarity in the Jesus’ suffering on the cross and hope in his glorious resurrection. This ultimately can empower us to be instruments of God’s will in the world and as a result, colleagues in God’s overtime in the world.
