1/30/08:

"Profiles in Courage" - Joyce Tullbane

When Adi asked me to be a part of his Common Prayer, I was at first flattered.  Then I thought, ME?  What courage have I shown?  I believe that he was referring to my battle with breast cancer for the past year and a half.  When I first heard the diagnosis, I said “Why me?  What do I do now?  Will I die?”  This was because my mother died from breast cancer 12 years ago.  Was I going to follow her at a relatively young age?  (Well, maybe not so young for you students!)  Would I leave my husband behind to try to exist without me?  But after some reflection, I realized that I needed to put my life in God’s hands.  If he thought it was time to bring me home, I was ready to go.  It would be harder for those left behind, but I felt that I had lived a good life, and was ready to meet my maker.  I didn’t really think that my life was ending.  Nevertheless, I said to him, “Thy will be done”.  This has been my mantra many times in my life when I was facing decisions that I didn’t want to make, or didn’t know how to make.  I felt that God should make the choice for me, and I would go along with it.  Is that courage?  Or simply taking the easy way out? 

I often try to remember the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

As it turns out, God wanted me to live, at least for the time being.  I think he wanted me to continue sharing my experiences with others, and to encourage the younger generation to believe in the future.  I have tried to serve as a good example for others.  I have doubled my efforts in raising money for the American Cancer Society through Relay for Life.  I feel that my survival has been funded by the research done by ACS, in conjunction with God’s blessings. I have tried to share my strength with the Colleges Against Cancer group here on campus, and hope that I might inspire them to do even greater works.

It has been a difficult time, as I have seen several friends diagnosed with cancer during this period.  Some are facing cancer for the first time, and others for a second or third time.  And I have to believe that they are the true heroes.

Susan was diagnosed with cancer for the 3rd time.  After surviving breast cancer five years ago, she has been through two bouts of kidney cancer.  Removal of one kidney meant that the next bout had to be treated with chemotherapy, surgery and radiation.  Removal of the other kidney was not an option, since you can’t go through dialysis after chemo.  She never lost faith, and has continued to fight.  She currently is in remission, with no evidence of the disease.  Her constant optimism shows what true heroes are like.

Linda is also fighting a 3rd round of cancer.  As she faces chemo for stomach cancer, at the age of 65, she insists that she is not going to go easily.  She feels that God still has a plan for her, and she will survive this obstacle.  I love to call her, knowing that she might not be home, because her voice mail message screams of happiness and optimism.  She will not go down without a fight.

Courage and faith in God are what enable us to face what life brings us.  As we talk about Profiles in Courage, we should remember these people who continue to battle every day, believing that God will be with them.