4/9/08:

Lynn Griebling

Grace is experiencing God when you don’t expect it. I want to share about grace in the worst times, the pivotal moments when you can only say yes or no, turn right or left, choose life or choose death.    

Last May I left St. Norbert after teaching here for seven years.Although the last year was painful, I have known for a long time that there is usually a Gift that comes with every difficult event in life.  That Gift is God’s grace.  My Gift was, “How shall I spend the rest of my life?   What is God calling me to do?”    

So, at 62, I looked for answers to those questions.  While searching for full-time work, I knew I could make ends meet by expanding my private practice as a teacher, coach and accompanist.    

But in July, while working part-time, I fell, breaking both wrists.  In a few moments, I had lost most of the remaining anchors in my life. I was now unable to play piano, teach singing, drive a car, cook, complete job applications, feed, bathe or wipe myself. Earning a living was impossible.  The enduring support of friends and doctors made no dent in my rage and despair. I felt slapped in the face by a cruel God. I considered suicide more than once because I owned a car with no airbags.  I found no gift, no grace in this event.   

After living in a spiritual black hole for weeks, I slowly opened my heart   and decided to search for the Gift in this tragedy. When I found it, I let it transform my approach to the tasks of everyday life. Grace and Transformation are sisters.   

As I healed, the next chapter of my life took shape.  Grace visited once more, and I excitedly prepared for a new life beginning in January    

Then, in December I was on my way to Eau Claire to lease an apartment when I had a car accident.  There was so much blood pressing on my brain that the neurosurgeon had to saw open my skull to remove the clot.   This scar represents the 58 staples needed to close the incision. I have what is called a TBI, and many returning vets have the same injury.  When so many brain cells die, there are always lasting effects, and some are devastating. I won’t know all of mine for 6-9 months. They’re not apparent in my speech, but they’re there all the same.  Where is the grace in this?    

The first month I could not think, move or remember. The only part of me undimmed by the accident was my core – my heart and soul.  I was functioning at a very primitive level, but could still feel the love and caring of nurses, doctors, friends, and the person from food service who was determined to choose food that I wanted to eat. A fleet of human angels moved me to a new home, since I could no longer live alone.  I let them take care of me, and surrendered myself to God’s promises.  They filled me with Agape.  It was pure Grace.    

Little has changed since December.  I do not have a job, and may never be able to work again. My income is limited and irregular. At one point I was close to being homeless.  I ride the bus because I can’t drive.  Friends still take me to appointments and to buy Dr. Pepper. But I am a different person. I live closer to the center of my being and no longer care about being a ‘success.’  Somehow, I do not worry about what will happen to me.  I am paying my bills, have enough food and a place to live.  What’s more important, I am alive, I have my sense of humor, and I still make music. I am filled with gratitude. I do not need anything else for now. I have more than enough. This is pure grace.


MY SHEPHERD WILL SUPPLY MY NEED, JEHOVAH IS YOUR NAME

IN PASTURES FRESH YOU BID ME FEED, BESIDE THE LIVING STREAM.

YOU BRING MY WANDERING SPIRIT BACK WHEN I FORSAKE YOUR WAYS.

AND LEAD ME, FOR YOUR MERCY’S SAKE, IN PATHS OF TRUTH AND GRACE.

THE SURE PROVISIONS OF MY GOD ATTEND ME ALL MY DAYS,

AND MAY YOUR HOUSE BE MY ABODE AND ALL MY WORKS BE PRAISE.

HERE WILL I FIND A SETTLED REST, WHILE OTHERS GO AND COME;

NO MORE A STRANGER OR A GUEST, BUT LIKE A CHILD AT HOME.