Spring 2008

Coming Home Again: The First Summer Back 
Kurt Weber, Ph.D, Director of Counseling Center

Your students have successfully met the challenges of making the transition from high school to St. Norbert College. They have succeeded to varying degrees at passing their classes, making new friends and, for the first time, living on their own. Please don’t be surprised if their time back home is another challenge. The changing relationship between family members can be a great experience, if you are ready, and willing to make a few preparations.

Understand that it’s difficult for you as well. You may expect your students to need you as much as they did before they left. It can be a difficult transition for you to accept your students as more independent people with views different from yours, and as people who can stand on their own.

Talk with each other. Talking is the simplest act and the one that is most often overlooked. Talk. You and your student are becoming peers. So many problems can be avoided by a simple conversation. This is a time that is both scary and exciting. You will make it less scary by talking openly with each other.

Prepare for change. The first thing that sets up many college freshmen for a rough first summer home is that they are blind sided by change. Being prepared for it (setting your mind for it and making plans to smooth the transition) is the first, most important step.

Start the transition as soon as possible. While the Christmas holidays and any other extended breaks might have gone quite well, and no major concerns seem to be looming over the horizon, the upcoming summer will be more challenging. Avoid some of the stress then by being proactive now.

Remember that you want them to be independent. No one wants them asking to borrow the car when they are 40. You may be shocked that it’s happened so soon. Give yourself a chance to be proud of their independence.

Remember to use it or lose it. Consider challenging your students in order to keep them from becoming mentally lazy during the summer break. Invite them to read as much as possible, and to read better newspapers, serious novels and technical articles from their field.

Invite them to talk about money concerns. Talk to them about this over the summer, especially if they have incurred credit card or other debt. Getting help earlier, rather than later, can prevent disaster in the future.

Remember, you didn’t change overnight. Your students did not, either. Take some time to adjust to changes in them. All of us have had successes and failures. Be honest about them. Give each other credit for the life experience that each has and is developing. Above all, enjoy your time together.

Best blessings for a successful remainder of the year, and for a happy and healthy summer!